High on God?

EPIPHANY- "I don't know." These three words strike me as the fundamental root of progress for our minds. Anyone that says they DO know probably doesn't know. Around two years ago I watched a program on the science channel that was basically about "stuff I didn't wanna hear." The show was about how the scientific community has been making great strides in biology by using new computer technology to break through DNA analysis and our genetic code. For 28 years, I've been a Christian with a literal view on the Bible's message, but I started to question the very core of why I was so sure of the things that I believed. It always kind of struck me as odd when someone would ask me, "why is it that you believe in Jesus Christ?" I rehashed the same, tired answers that Christians have been giving for many years now. "God has changed my life"..... "I'm saved now"...."Well, if the disciples were willing to die for Jesus, then he must really be God"....Then, one day, after seeing this program, something in my mind triggered a change. I was defensive at first at even the thought of human evolution. Could it actually be that the scientists that have spent their entire lives studying human genetics be right? Could it be that there really isn't a conspiracy from the Devil to persuade us to believe in the process of evolution? Maybe the Devil doesn't even exist? And the biggest question for me was, "could I have experienced a God placebo-effect?" The medical community has long battled the placebo-effect because the human mind is quite powerful, but could it really be that humans everywhere are actually believing that they're getting "God" when they are really just getting high on the thought of God? Simply a mere delusion? Well, after quite a lot of intense soul-searching and research, I think that I was fooling myself into thinking God was intervening and guiding my life when in all reality, it was myself that was in charge of my life. We don't give ourselves enough credit when things are good, and we don't hold ourselves accountable when things are going awry. I've found that this behavior is coded in our nature. After winning the Super Bowl, Drew Brees says, "thank you Jesus?" Self-reliance is my new way. Jesus said "He is the Way?" Well, I think Jesus had some great messages to offer, but now I believe "YOU ARE THE WAY!" Things happen because WE make them happen. If something doesn't happen, it's because YOU didn't make it happen. We have to start being accountable for every single decision and every single action we take. "God doesn't help those that don't help themselves."-Beowulf. Could it be that we are the ones that have total control?